I'm slowly recognizing the concept of calling this place home. Even if it's temporary. It's not because it's easier to say then 'living arrangements' or 'that place I reside in' but because, despite the fact that I know about a .000001 percentile of the population of this city, the things that make it feel like home are setting in. The familiarity is setting in. I can get a lot of places just looking at street names. I can be completely lost but I see one street sign I recognize and I'll be fine in no time. It's actually kind of exciting when that happens. Sure, in the moment I panic a little bit but I just look for street signs. A few times I've been in scarier sections of town, but they don't last very long. I'm sure one of those experiences is coming where it feels like an eternity, but until then, I'm loving it.
Speaking of that, Hyde Park rocks. My favorite Starbucks is there, they have a Chipotle, a Panera, a Kroger's, Mio's Pizzeria, and a lot more. However, the glaring weak spot for me is the McDonald's (now that segue makes sense). My problem with it is simple. A few other McDonald's I have been to in my life also do this and it's disgusting. I always order 2 doublecheeseb.....McDouble's (GAY). So naturally, you would think being BURGERS, they should be BEEF patties. Well, in this case, you would be wrong. No, this McDonald's puts SAUSAGE patties on instead of normal beef. Um, I'm sorry. That is NOT a cheeseburger. That's a sausage mcmuffin on a hamburger bun instead of a biscuit. It is very noticeable and it just does not taste well combined with ketchup like beef does. I don't care if people find this nitpicky. If you do, then sorry, you're an idiot, because it's gross. The Sugarcreek McDonald's used to do this, but don't anymore, and that's why they're awesome. The Millersburg McDonald's used to do this, but don't anymore, and that's why they too are awesome. Hyde Park McDonald's. Get your shiz together.
I just looked up and saw one of the brightest red cars I have ever seen. It was like staring at a really bright red object.
So one of my least favorite things are zits on the back of my neck. I only say that because it's something that is currently giving me an annoying time and I'm sure when they're (yes, there's more than one) gone I'll be way less mad. Come on, though. How do you suddenly get THREE zits, all 3 on the back of your neck? Nowhere else. Just the neck. It makes zero sense. Actually, I'm sure there's a science to it that makes perfect sense, but I don't know it and researching the placement of zits just screams 'douchebag job'. So I'll just stick with my channeled zits anger and not feel like a complete loser.
I've never liked trucks. There, I said it. Come and fight me, hicks! Defend your babies! Seriously, though, I've just never been a fan of trucks and I'm not sure why. It's not because they're bulky or guzzle gas. I just don't enjoy them. To me trucks are like that really douchy muscular guy in shop class who you would love to hit with a 2 x 4 but realize you could use his strength in any situation, so you stay on his good side and put up with him being a total putz.
Want another fun shop class analogy? You got it! Civic's are like that one kid that everyone picked on and he only did one project all semester, but he did it so well he can probably use his shelf or whatever for at least 20 years.
Muscle cars are like the guy who made a WICKED AWESOME poker table but he won't let anyone touch it because it's too perfect.
The Tazo tea here at Starbucks has a little sign that says 'A home without tea is merely a house.' Alright, add that reason to why I can call Cincinnati home. My apartment has tea on the premesis. Man, that is such a terrible slogan. That actually makes me like tea less. A house is a home through family and love. You may think I'm being too serious and I may think you're a banana. We're both wrong, so satch.
I just thought of something I want to do and I am SUPER excited about it. The next time I'm doing one of these writings, I want to sit in a very open area but a spot where if there is a girl I find attractive, I can very sneakily look at her out of the corner of my eye. Then, if she looks at me, I will raise my eyebrows twice in that 'Hey baby' type of motion that EVERYONE knows and then immediately jot down her reaction. I'm hoping it's either laughter or that quick look back where you don't want the other person to know you were looking but you are SO BUSTED and I don't want these reactions so much because they're the best reactions. No, I want them because they're conversation starters. I can even tell you the openers!
If it's a laugh, I walk over and say 'If you thought that was funny, wait 'til you see my Bill Clinton impression' then in my exact normal voice, I say 'Hi, I'm Bill Clinton'. Is that not GOLD? WAIT! No. I'm pulling out the Shaun of the Dead line. How's that for a slice of fried gold? YEAH! YES! I win! My parents would be so proud! I feel like I should get some sort of cash prize for that. I'm so pumped about busting out that line I could care less what the second pick up line was. I know it wasn't NEARLY as good and to say it now completely eliminates the awesomeness high I'm on after the first one AS WELL AS busting out the Shaun of the Dead quote. If you could see me as I write this, you could just tell how happy I am that I did that. I'm writing faster and I have a grin on my face. Well, I did. It's faded because I have ice in my mouth. It was there, though! My big goofy 'I just broke off a movie quote in a perfect situation' smile. My goodness
I'm calling it game, set, match after that. I'm not gonna do any better today, and I am absolutely fine with that. Ah. I'm in a great mood now! Enjoy your day!
And thus concludes Blog 5 from the Coffee House Writings. My soundtrack for this evening has been as follows:
God Put a Smile Upon Your Face - Coldplay
Lose My Breath - My Bloody Valentine
For Nancy ('Cos It Already Is) - Pete Yorn
Upside Down - Jack Johnson
Take - Lush
I'm Amazed - My Morning Jacket
Space Travel is Boring - Sun Kil Moon
Ode to LRC - Band of Horses
Brainy - The National
Touch Me I'm Going to Scream Part 2 - My Morning Jacket
Your Protector - Fleet Foxes
It's Beginning to Get to Me - Snow Patrol
Tuesday, February 24, 2009
Saturday, February 21, 2009
Mall Writing #1
Yes, that's correct. A different public setting. I should just go wherever. Maybe get more corporate sponsorship. Lowe's for the Z.A. is the tip of the spear. Can you imagine how much money would be rolling in if I just went to Panera Bread or something like that? (*EDIT* Did this and you'll see how it turned out *END EDIT*) One time per blog I could shill whatever food and drink I get at a very efficient price. Like, right now even! 'Come check out Kenwood Plaza! They've got...stores!' Could it be better, sure, but you know you want to come to Kenwood Plaza now. If you say no, I'm gonna go ahead and guess that you're lying. Or don't feel like driving 3 or so hours for a mall. Can't really blame you there.
There's a restaurant in the mall that is Chinese food but has the words Cajun Grill in it's name. Does that COMPLETELY not sound right to anyone? It's like 'Welcome to Blibbidy Blobbedie's Steak House, would you like to try our smoothies?' 'No, I want a steak.' 'Oh, all we have are smoothies.' Stupid. Totally stupid.
There are so many old people in the mall. I love the old people cliques in the malls. They have their own tables and everything. I'm pretty sure that when we're 70 or older we get to start reliving high school again. We'll just have a harder time standing and pee 15 times a day. Other than that, bring on the glory days!
SO I always see in movies how almost every male with a pulse gets turned on by or has the fantasy about Catholic school girls in their skirts and matching outfits. Well, being from Holmes County, that concept was just lost on me. Didn't get it. First of all, it's weird. Second, lots of girls wear skirts, what makes these so special? Well, you will be happy to know, I have figured out why guys like it. This is so simple I can't believe nobody noticed before. Catholic school girls ALWAYS walk in groups. There's always 2 or more! If it was just one it would be easy to dismiss. When there's a multiple amount it is SO MUCH MORE EFFECTIVE. That's where I'm not sure why and I lose my train of thought. All I can give you is the reason. I can't explain it. I'm sure it's a hormone thing. It usually is.
I think energy drinks are idiotic. I have never had one work well for me at all. Maybe my body digests sugar faster than anything else. I think it's all in our heads. If you have an energy drink around midnight, have you ever noticed you SAY you had one at least 6 times in the next hour? It is almost like.....GASP! You're telling yourself that you're more hyped up! What an amazing concept! Our brains tricking our bodies into thinking something had a very great effect on us. That doesn't happen ever. Nope, not at all.
I just had a real freak out moment. There were 5 guys and 4 of them were dressed like boofers. Very much alike. I'm still not convinced that they aren't. I'd have to hear them talk and that would be a weird thing to go do. I wonder what the percentage is that it ends in a bloody nose or some kind of punch in the face. I'm gonna say at least 30% chance. Alright, they aren't. If we were 3 hours northeast, though. Wow. It'd be an immediate pegging.
I smell strawberries. I'm pretty sure it's coming from the smoothie place that's in very close proximity to where I am. There's 2 smoothie places! Within 6 stores of each other! I wonder if they compete. Or maybe at Halloween both managers dress up like gunslingers and have a classic 'This food court ain't big enough for the 2 of us' before the business day begins. Oh MAN I'm getting excited just thinking that it could even be a little bit true. I wouldn't be surprised if they are either best friends or would just like to take a straight razor to the other. They HAVE to have met. It just can't be any other way. I mean, it's 2 smoothie places in a single food court! Most food courts don't have any.
Alright, I'm already spent. There's a decent amount to distract me here. Plus now I want a smoothie.
And thus concludes Blog 1 from the Mall Writings. My soundtrack for this evening has been as follows:
Space Travel is Boring - Modest Mouse
Ah Ha - Butthole Surfers
The Battle of Evermore - Led Zeppelin
You Know My Name - Chris Cornell
I Believe In a Thing Called Love - The Darkness
Crossroads - Cream
Oh! Gravity - Switchfoot
The One I Love - R.E.M.
There's a restaurant in the mall that is Chinese food but has the words Cajun Grill in it's name. Does that COMPLETELY not sound right to anyone? It's like 'Welcome to Blibbidy Blobbedie's Steak House, would you like to try our smoothies?' 'No, I want a steak.' 'Oh, all we have are smoothies.' Stupid. Totally stupid.
There are so many old people in the mall. I love the old people cliques in the malls. They have their own tables and everything. I'm pretty sure that when we're 70 or older we get to start reliving high school again. We'll just have a harder time standing and pee 15 times a day. Other than that, bring on the glory days!
SO I always see in movies how almost every male with a pulse gets turned on by or has the fantasy about Catholic school girls in their skirts and matching outfits. Well, being from Holmes County, that concept was just lost on me. Didn't get it. First of all, it's weird. Second, lots of girls wear skirts, what makes these so special? Well, you will be happy to know, I have figured out why guys like it. This is so simple I can't believe nobody noticed before. Catholic school girls ALWAYS walk in groups. There's always 2 or more! If it was just one it would be easy to dismiss. When there's a multiple amount it is SO MUCH MORE EFFECTIVE. That's where I'm not sure why and I lose my train of thought. All I can give you is the reason. I can't explain it. I'm sure it's a hormone thing. It usually is.
I think energy drinks are idiotic. I have never had one work well for me at all. Maybe my body digests sugar faster than anything else. I think it's all in our heads. If you have an energy drink around midnight, have you ever noticed you SAY you had one at least 6 times in the next hour? It is almost like.....GASP! You're telling yourself that you're more hyped up! What an amazing concept! Our brains tricking our bodies into thinking something had a very great effect on us. That doesn't happen ever. Nope, not at all.
I just had a real freak out moment. There were 5 guys and 4 of them were dressed like boofers. Very much alike. I'm still not convinced that they aren't. I'd have to hear them talk and that would be a weird thing to go do. I wonder what the percentage is that it ends in a bloody nose or some kind of punch in the face. I'm gonna say at least 30% chance. Alright, they aren't. If we were 3 hours northeast, though. Wow. It'd be an immediate pegging.
I smell strawberries. I'm pretty sure it's coming from the smoothie place that's in very close proximity to where I am. There's 2 smoothie places! Within 6 stores of each other! I wonder if they compete. Or maybe at Halloween both managers dress up like gunslingers and have a classic 'This food court ain't big enough for the 2 of us' before the business day begins. Oh MAN I'm getting excited just thinking that it could even be a little bit true. I wouldn't be surprised if they are either best friends or would just like to take a straight razor to the other. They HAVE to have met. It just can't be any other way. I mean, it's 2 smoothie places in a single food court! Most food courts don't have any.
Alright, I'm already spent. There's a decent amount to distract me here. Plus now I want a smoothie.
And thus concludes Blog 1 from the Mall Writings. My soundtrack for this evening has been as follows:
Space Travel is Boring - Modest Mouse
Ah Ha - Butthole Surfers
The Battle of Evermore - Led Zeppelin
You Know My Name - Chris Cornell
I Believe In a Thing Called Love - The Darkness
Crossroads - Cream
Oh! Gravity - Switchfoot
The One I Love - R.E.M.
Wednesday, February 18, 2009
Coffee House Writing #4
Before I get to the actual writing, I should tell you that I did this on the same day as CHW #3. I did it later that night, and it'll be very evident immediately. I just felt like saying it before so you knew and would slightly understand why I didn't feel like typing 2 of these in 1 day. Alright, on to the writing. This is intense and different from everything I've written so far. I feel that way. How you interpret it is all you. That's the beauty of it.
Is it possible to do 2 of these writings in the same day (*See, I told you it would be immediate*)? Apparently I can give it a shot. I am unsure of how many of my better ideas are tapped out. Probably a lot. Although I would be lying if I wasn't of the opinion that my mind is an enigma and I am never out of ideas. I just might have a hard time grabbing onto the better ones. It's like a cash grab. You're in that big glass box and the air is blowing and cash is just going everywhere and in your mind all you can think about is grabbing bills that have more than 1 digit but at the end of the whole thing you count about $43 in singles and you have maybe 10 bills that are $10 or higher. It's an unfair thing when you realize that's how it's set up, but it's a blast while you're doing it.
What was I talking about? I sorta lost my pushcart of though. See what I did there? I changed the unit of thought from train to a slower, older version. I'm running on Windows 2000 as opposed to Vista. Actually, I'm pretty sure I'm running on something more witty and funny. Maybe like.... Curtains Vista. Yeah, I'd say I'm the curtains to the smart guy's windows. Man, I love that analogy, it's just too bad it doesn't make sense at all. That's what happens when you just write.
I'm not sure where this passion for writing suddenly reappeared from, but it is entirely too mystifying for me to even think about understanding. Maybe it's because I have to force myself to go out into public places in order to get these results. If I stay in my apartment and try to type or write, I have a million things to distract me. Xbox, internet, movies, Family Guy, reading a magazine, making lists, reading lists, staring at my DVD's, other unhealthy things like that. Well, the lists are healthy. Really healthy. If I didn't make and read lists, I would have probably spontaneously combusted by my 17th birthday. It's just something that I need. More than most things. I've made it a month and a half unless I go out in public. Lists and things of the like have kept a majority of my sanity in tact. I really don't even know what lists are funnest to make. Top 25 lists, sure, but the subject is what I'm referring to. Top 25 movies. Ok, what category? Horror? Drama? Favorite Actor? Best Performances?
So I'm tired of that because I'm sitting here and I just looked up and the painting hanging right in front of me temporarily caught my complete attention. From the little girl in it who slightly reminds me of my little sister at around that age to the tall grass that seems to surround everything to the word 'school' spelled with the 'h' on the school bus and even the bus driver who has a hat that makes her look like the Creeper in Jeepers Creepers. There's a lot for me to enjoy in that painting. I'm not usually a 'stop and be taken aback by art or paintings' type of person, but this one definitely stopped my forward motion for a few minutes.
This time to just me, music, the paper, and the pen really makes me feel like I'm a completely different person for nearly the entire length of the session that I do. It doesn't matter if what I write seems like something I would say or not. I'm convinced it's all me flowing through something 180 degrees the opposite of myself. Yes, I'm fully on board with the concept that me and a pen are the exact opposite, but when I do this, my pen is my right hand. I don't have fingers. I have one writing utensil and it sprays down whatever needs to be presented. The grooves and dents in my fingers are the absolute proof of this. I am an object with a brain. I am the ink and the blood all in one.
You know, I'm not even listening to morbid stuff and I feel like I'm being evil, but I'm just writing and observing. I am sitting at Starbucks and there are 3 round tables that each sit 2 people. At the first, to my left, sits a gentlemen who is likely in his late 40's. He has a half beard and a fading head of hair. To be honest, I feel like I've seen him in a movie before. I'm fairly certain he is a teacher or a professor of some kind. He just has that look. He's writing on one of those steno notepads, but white instead of yellow, and he writes big and double spaces every line. I should consider doing that. He's wearing a button down shirt that has a box pattern in tan, thanksgiving-y orange/red, dark blue, and a very soft green with a tie that I didn't even notice until I really looked. He has an American flag type pin but it has pinheads to design the flag. It's above his shirt pocket. He has an organizer and something else in his pocket. I'm unsure what. He has a few other items like a trapper keeper-like object with a few business papers and a dictionary of some kind. He picked it up while I was writing the last sentence and I can't see the title of it. I know it wasn't a typical Webster's type dictionary. Ah, it's a compact office dictionary. Neat.
I just swiped a fuzzy off my notebook and it drifted for about 3 seconds before clinging to the back of my hand. So right now, I can't say I know anything like the back of my hand. Now I can. It disappeared in another swift movement. Called breathing.
At the second table is a guy you may know. He's got the table divided into 4 neat quadrants. On the first, at the south part of the table, is the notebook that is currently being written in. On the west side is an iPod, upside down, and tilted slightly. Above the notebook, after the open middle, is a bag that normally keeps a pair of Skull Candy headphones safe, and a straw wrapper is resting on the bag. The fourth and final quadrant is occupied only by a glass of water, almost exactly half full (which is kind of funny at this point in the writing) and the naked straw protruding from the lid's center.
Finally, to my right, is a young woman, either a senior in high school or a college student in her first or second year. She has a plethora of things. A purple binder with the word 'Micro' in small letters up top. Just thinking what that word entails gives me the heebies. She just stood up, giving me ample time to observe her work space. On top of the binder is an open (page folded over) book and what appears to be an assignment sheet on that. The letters near the top of the assignment sheet have the closed off parts of the letters darkened in, which is a trait that I also possess.
The older man just stretched and smiled at me and the girl. I returned it. I'm unsure if she did. It appears that they are both packing up around me, which is slightly disappointing because I will no longer have subjects to write about. Very disappointing, actually. Yes, indeed the girl has left, and the man is about to. Well, I can't say being an observer of my surroundings wasn't a total blast.
A woman in scrubs just walked in. She smiled. I smiled back. I love doing that. Whether it's an impulse or a genuine day brightener, few things are better than a smile.
I just engaged in small talk with the gentleman that was next to me. Just a few sentences, but the fact that it was my first real contact with someone all day is insane. Things like that can just help me realize there is faith in humanity yet. Just a random person wishing you a good night, and you returning it. Most skeptics of this place we call earth would be quick to judge, but between me being an incredibly optimistic type on top of being someone who wants to be in the field of talking to and about people, it's just something that is very welcome.
So I just transferred Starbucks. You couldn't see it for reasons that if they aren't obvious to you, then you might need punched. However, I went to another place simply so I could have more life around me and lightly be able to feed off of it. So far I would say it's an improvement mostly because I saw 2 people I know through Pursuit, which is cool. The fact that I got a longer conversation out of the random guy at the other Starbucks is slightly sad. It'll happen, though. Those 2 seem fairly deep in conversation so it's best to just let them stay at it and let me do what I do; namely write with music feeding me power through headphones.
You know that feeling you get when you hear a song you haven't heard beginning to end in a long time? I'm feeling that right now. Plus, I'm pretty sure I had forgotten this little gem for the Top 25 Song Conclusions (According to Me). I am doing that still, I promise. I'm just currently way more content with going to coffee places and writing. It's something I am suddenly very dedicated. If I don't have work or class and I don't have my lazy clothes on. I will get the itch. Hence me doing this twice today, even though I'm fairly positive this writing isn't going up for at least a day (*EDIT* I was right *END EDIT*).
I can't over load my blog already. Wasting the good stuff all at once is never a good idea, because what happens when you run out of the motivation and the dedication? All of a sudden you haven't updated in nearly 6 months and your friends stop talking to you. Ok, that second part was added for dramatic effect, but you get the idea. I hope.
I feel like a lot of the things I write either shouldn't sound profound and people take them that way or my intent is to blow minds and people don't get it. Typically, I would rather have a laugh than a brain on the wall, but I'll take what I can get.
Bon Iver continues to blow my mind. First of all, the band cannot be listened to in a car the same way it can be with headphones. I just listened to their song 'Woods' for the third time. The first 2 were in my car and it was a big 'flibbity boo who cares', it's another solid indie song. Not anymore. Just from that ONE SINGLE LISTEN in my headphones, up close and personal, I can honestly call it one of the most beautiful heartbreaking songs ever. EVER. Bon Iver commands your respect. You wanna know how much it did to me? I was another minute of the song from shedding a tear here in Starbucks. I'm lucky it's 5 minutes long and not 6. I don't expect a single person to get the same beauty from that song that I did, but I don't care. Everyone has those songs. I've got at least one and it's captivating. My tear ducts reacted favorably. Well, nearly reacted favorably.
So I'm looking around and the two guys leaving right now are helping to eliminate the douchebag factor in here. Honestly, if I ever look as pretentious, uppity, cocky, and just all around douche baggy as these two butt monkeys look to me, please for the love of God punch me in the neck. All douchebags need a good neck punching. Some need a few punches, but they all need hit in the neck with a closed fist.
Well, I think I've touched base nearly every emotion and all around weird thing that you probably could in an entry like this. The ability to keep pushing these little writing babies out of my pen's vaginal cavity (OH YEAH THAT WAS AWESOME!!!) makes me really happy. It's a true fascination to me. I was sure that my ability to write for long periods of time had all but disappeared after Kent Tusc completely defiled and raped my will to write with their constant non-major related classes, but it is clearly here. I know for sure that's where I lost it. I was gung ho about journalism coming out of high school and it took one damn year of college to make me not want to write at all. Well guess what? It never left. It just went to an amazing recession.
I would really like to be able to make a book out of these someday. Like Kurt Cobain's 'Journals' only less evil and way more easy to follow. As great of a read as that book was, the only thing I can really admit that I understood were the pages about lyrics. That was 5 years ago, though. Maybe I should go over it again. Maybe learn about the inner workings of a lyrical genius just a little bit better than a 16 year old mind can. Worth a shot.
By the way, I don't think I've said it before, but while it's not critical to listen to the soundtrack that I put down at the bottom, it can really give you a better look at how I felt while I was writing these. It's a magnificent thing when music can so simply and suddenly change the direction that anything is going, much less someone who is writing about the first thing that comes to his head.
I'm gonna need a new notebook.
And thus concludes Blog 4 from the Coffee House Writings. My soundtrack for this evening has been as follows:
The Killing Floor - The Accidental
Melatonin - Silversun Pickups
Nothing Much to Lose - My Bloody Valentine
Our Swords - Band of Horses
Three of Four - The New Pornographers
I Summon You - Spoon
Next Exit - Interpol
I Turn My Camera On - Spoon
What You Want - My Bloody Valentine
Slow Show - The National
Failsafe - The New Pornographers
What If - Coldplay
The Bleeding Heart Show - The New Pornographers
E-Pro - Beck
Blue Ridge Mountains - Fleet Foxes
Such Great Heights - The Postal Service
Feed Me With Your Kiss - My Bloody Valentine
Clocks - Coldplay
Woods - Bon Iver
Black Wave - The Shins
Exit Does Not Exist - Sun Kil Moon
Is There a Ghost - Band of Horses
All I Need - My Bloody Valentine
Paris is Burning - Ladyhawke
One By One All Day - The Shins
Strange Apparition - Beck
Is it possible to do 2 of these writings in the same day (*See, I told you it would be immediate*)? Apparently I can give it a shot. I am unsure of how many of my better ideas are tapped out. Probably a lot. Although I would be lying if I wasn't of the opinion that my mind is an enigma and I am never out of ideas. I just might have a hard time grabbing onto the better ones. It's like a cash grab. You're in that big glass box and the air is blowing and cash is just going everywhere and in your mind all you can think about is grabbing bills that have more than 1 digit but at the end of the whole thing you count about $43 in singles and you have maybe 10 bills that are $10 or higher. It's an unfair thing when you realize that's how it's set up, but it's a blast while you're doing it.
What was I talking about? I sorta lost my pushcart of though. See what I did there? I changed the unit of thought from train to a slower, older version. I'm running on Windows 2000 as opposed to Vista. Actually, I'm pretty sure I'm running on something more witty and funny. Maybe like.... Curtains Vista. Yeah, I'd say I'm the curtains to the smart guy's windows. Man, I love that analogy, it's just too bad it doesn't make sense at all. That's what happens when you just write.
I'm not sure where this passion for writing suddenly reappeared from, but it is entirely too mystifying for me to even think about understanding. Maybe it's because I have to force myself to go out into public places in order to get these results. If I stay in my apartment and try to type or write, I have a million things to distract me. Xbox, internet, movies, Family Guy, reading a magazine, making lists, reading lists, staring at my DVD's, other unhealthy things like that. Well, the lists are healthy. Really healthy. If I didn't make and read lists, I would have probably spontaneously combusted by my 17th birthday. It's just something that I need. More than most things. I've made it a month and a half unless I go out in public. Lists and things of the like have kept a majority of my sanity in tact. I really don't even know what lists are funnest to make. Top 25 lists, sure, but the subject is what I'm referring to. Top 25 movies. Ok, what category? Horror? Drama? Favorite Actor? Best Performances?
So I'm tired of that because I'm sitting here and I just looked up and the painting hanging right in front of me temporarily caught my complete attention. From the little girl in it who slightly reminds me of my little sister at around that age to the tall grass that seems to surround everything to the word 'school' spelled with the 'h' on the school bus and even the bus driver who has a hat that makes her look like the Creeper in Jeepers Creepers. There's a lot for me to enjoy in that painting. I'm not usually a 'stop and be taken aback by art or paintings' type of person, but this one definitely stopped my forward motion for a few minutes.
This time to just me, music, the paper, and the pen really makes me feel like I'm a completely different person for nearly the entire length of the session that I do. It doesn't matter if what I write seems like something I would say or not. I'm convinced it's all me flowing through something 180 degrees the opposite of myself. Yes, I'm fully on board with the concept that me and a pen are the exact opposite, but when I do this, my pen is my right hand. I don't have fingers. I have one writing utensil and it sprays down whatever needs to be presented. The grooves and dents in my fingers are the absolute proof of this. I am an object with a brain. I am the ink and the blood all in one.
You know, I'm not even listening to morbid stuff and I feel like I'm being evil, but I'm just writing and observing. I am sitting at Starbucks and there are 3 round tables that each sit 2 people. At the first, to my left, sits a gentlemen who is likely in his late 40's. He has a half beard and a fading head of hair. To be honest, I feel like I've seen him in a movie before. I'm fairly certain he is a teacher or a professor of some kind. He just has that look. He's writing on one of those steno notepads, but white instead of yellow, and he writes big and double spaces every line. I should consider doing that. He's wearing a button down shirt that has a box pattern in tan, thanksgiving-y orange/red, dark blue, and a very soft green with a tie that I didn't even notice until I really looked. He has an American flag type pin but it has pinheads to design the flag. It's above his shirt pocket. He has an organizer and something else in his pocket. I'm unsure what. He has a few other items like a trapper keeper-like object with a few business papers and a dictionary of some kind. He picked it up while I was writing the last sentence and I can't see the title of it. I know it wasn't a typical Webster's type dictionary. Ah, it's a compact office dictionary. Neat.
I just swiped a fuzzy off my notebook and it drifted for about 3 seconds before clinging to the back of my hand. So right now, I can't say I know anything like the back of my hand. Now I can. It disappeared in another swift movement. Called breathing.
At the second table is a guy you may know. He's got the table divided into 4 neat quadrants. On the first, at the south part of the table, is the notebook that is currently being written in. On the west side is an iPod, upside down, and tilted slightly. Above the notebook, after the open middle, is a bag that normally keeps a pair of Skull Candy headphones safe, and a straw wrapper is resting on the bag. The fourth and final quadrant is occupied only by a glass of water, almost exactly half full (which is kind of funny at this point in the writing) and the naked straw protruding from the lid's center.
Finally, to my right, is a young woman, either a senior in high school or a college student in her first or second year. She has a plethora of things. A purple binder with the word 'Micro' in small letters up top. Just thinking what that word entails gives me the heebies. She just stood up, giving me ample time to observe her work space. On top of the binder is an open (page folded over) book and what appears to be an assignment sheet on that. The letters near the top of the assignment sheet have the closed off parts of the letters darkened in, which is a trait that I also possess.
The older man just stretched and smiled at me and the girl. I returned it. I'm unsure if she did. It appears that they are both packing up around me, which is slightly disappointing because I will no longer have subjects to write about. Very disappointing, actually. Yes, indeed the girl has left, and the man is about to. Well, I can't say being an observer of my surroundings wasn't a total blast.
A woman in scrubs just walked in. She smiled. I smiled back. I love doing that. Whether it's an impulse or a genuine day brightener, few things are better than a smile.
I just engaged in small talk with the gentleman that was next to me. Just a few sentences, but the fact that it was my first real contact with someone all day is insane. Things like that can just help me realize there is faith in humanity yet. Just a random person wishing you a good night, and you returning it. Most skeptics of this place we call earth would be quick to judge, but between me being an incredibly optimistic type on top of being someone who wants to be in the field of talking to and about people, it's just something that is very welcome.
So I just transferred Starbucks. You couldn't see it for reasons that if they aren't obvious to you, then you might need punched. However, I went to another place simply so I could have more life around me and lightly be able to feed off of it. So far I would say it's an improvement mostly because I saw 2 people I know through Pursuit, which is cool. The fact that I got a longer conversation out of the random guy at the other Starbucks is slightly sad. It'll happen, though. Those 2 seem fairly deep in conversation so it's best to just let them stay at it and let me do what I do; namely write with music feeding me power through headphones.
You know that feeling you get when you hear a song you haven't heard beginning to end in a long time? I'm feeling that right now. Plus, I'm pretty sure I had forgotten this little gem for the Top 25 Song Conclusions (According to Me). I am doing that still, I promise. I'm just currently way more content with going to coffee places and writing. It's something I am suddenly very dedicated. If I don't have work or class and I don't have my lazy clothes on. I will get the itch. Hence me doing this twice today, even though I'm fairly positive this writing isn't going up for at least a day (*EDIT* I was right *END EDIT*).
I can't over load my blog already. Wasting the good stuff all at once is never a good idea, because what happens when you run out of the motivation and the dedication? All of a sudden you haven't updated in nearly 6 months and your friends stop talking to you. Ok, that second part was added for dramatic effect, but you get the idea. I hope.
I feel like a lot of the things I write either shouldn't sound profound and people take them that way or my intent is to blow minds and people don't get it. Typically, I would rather have a laugh than a brain on the wall, but I'll take what I can get.
Bon Iver continues to blow my mind. First of all, the band cannot be listened to in a car the same way it can be with headphones. I just listened to their song 'Woods' for the third time. The first 2 were in my car and it was a big 'flibbity boo who cares', it's another solid indie song. Not anymore. Just from that ONE SINGLE LISTEN in my headphones, up close and personal, I can honestly call it one of the most beautiful heartbreaking songs ever. EVER. Bon Iver commands your respect. You wanna know how much it did to me? I was another minute of the song from shedding a tear here in Starbucks. I'm lucky it's 5 minutes long and not 6. I don't expect a single person to get the same beauty from that song that I did, but I don't care. Everyone has those songs. I've got at least one and it's captivating. My tear ducts reacted favorably. Well, nearly reacted favorably.
So I'm looking around and the two guys leaving right now are helping to eliminate the douchebag factor in here. Honestly, if I ever look as pretentious, uppity, cocky, and just all around douche baggy as these two butt monkeys look to me, please for the love of God punch me in the neck. All douchebags need a good neck punching. Some need a few punches, but they all need hit in the neck with a closed fist.
Well, I think I've touched base nearly every emotion and all around weird thing that you probably could in an entry like this. The ability to keep pushing these little writing babies out of my pen's vaginal cavity (OH YEAH THAT WAS AWESOME!!!) makes me really happy. It's a true fascination to me. I was sure that my ability to write for long periods of time had all but disappeared after Kent Tusc completely defiled and raped my will to write with their constant non-major related classes, but it is clearly here. I know for sure that's where I lost it. I was gung ho about journalism coming out of high school and it took one damn year of college to make me not want to write at all. Well guess what? It never left. It just went to an amazing recession.
I would really like to be able to make a book out of these someday. Like Kurt Cobain's 'Journals' only less evil and way more easy to follow. As great of a read as that book was, the only thing I can really admit that I understood were the pages about lyrics. That was 5 years ago, though. Maybe I should go over it again. Maybe learn about the inner workings of a lyrical genius just a little bit better than a 16 year old mind can. Worth a shot.
By the way, I don't think I've said it before, but while it's not critical to listen to the soundtrack that I put down at the bottom, it can really give you a better look at how I felt while I was writing these. It's a magnificent thing when music can so simply and suddenly change the direction that anything is going, much less someone who is writing about the first thing that comes to his head.
I'm gonna need a new notebook.
And thus concludes Blog 4 from the Coffee House Writings. My soundtrack for this evening has been as follows:
The Killing Floor - The Accidental
Melatonin - Silversun Pickups
Nothing Much to Lose - My Bloody Valentine
Our Swords - Band of Horses
Three of Four - The New Pornographers
I Summon You - Spoon
Next Exit - Interpol
I Turn My Camera On - Spoon
What You Want - My Bloody Valentine
Slow Show - The National
Failsafe - The New Pornographers
What If - Coldplay
The Bleeding Heart Show - The New Pornographers
E-Pro - Beck
Blue Ridge Mountains - Fleet Foxes
Such Great Heights - The Postal Service
Feed Me With Your Kiss - My Bloody Valentine
Clocks - Coldplay
Woods - Bon Iver
Black Wave - The Shins
Exit Does Not Exist - Sun Kil Moon
Is There a Ghost - Band of Horses
All I Need - My Bloody Valentine
Paris is Burning - Ladyhawke
One By One All Day - The Shins
Strange Apparition - Beck
Tuesday, February 17, 2009
Coffee House Writing #3
I might be the most uncomfortable I've been since coming to Cincinnati as I write this. I'm at a nice little cafe called Reality Tuesday Cafe between Cincinnati and Covington, KY. So I'm actually writing this on Kentucky soil. Whoa, trippy! It's not that I don't enjoy what I ordered, either. Quite the opposite. A house coffee and a caramel apple struessel dumpling. Holy wow is it good, and fairly cheap for it's overall goodness and size to price ratio, which is a scale I made up just now. No, I'm uncomfortable because I am CLEARLY the youngest person in here. Sure, it's a Tuesday, but there are still colleges around and you would think that on a Tuesday afternoon there wouldn't be so many business-y types in here. It's made worse by the fact that I'm obviously in 'streets' and not really dressed up in anyway. However, they can stick it, because at least I'm comfortable. In my clothes, at least.
So there's a neat little magnet (oh, and when I say neat, I mean dumb) on the fridge behind the counter that says 'Virginia is for Lovers.' Alright, I'm confused. I have been under the impression for years that, in fact, Ohio is for lovers. Not Virginia. Not Kansas. Not Oregon. Not even Rhode Island. No, Ohio is for lovers. This magnet seriously blows my mind and TOTALLY ruins any and all perception I had of Ohio, lovers, and the fact that Ohio is a house for said lovers. So what happened? Did Ohio pass it's ability for being a loyal housing unit for lovers to Virginia suddenly for no reason? Was there a trade? Like we gave Virginia the exclusive rights to be for lovers and we get their state bird and the rights to a monument of our choosing? Personally, I am a little happy if we DID get rid of 'Ohio is for Lovers' but we should have traded to a better state. I would have traded it STRAIGHT UP to Pennsylvania for Hershey. I might have even thrown in Youngstown since it's right there.
Can you imagine how AWESOME state trading would be? Obama likes sports, I think he should implement sports-like rules into the government. If we have a salary cap we might as be the Yankees of the entire world. Technically, we already are since foreigners like to call us 'Yanks.' By the way, that's an absurd nickname. I don't want to be called something that could mean the present tense of pulling. How would the British like it if everyone started calling them 'Shoves?' I bet they would hate it, and rightfully so. It's about as stupid as George W. Bush watching Oliver Stone's movie about him. If that happens, I think it should be nationally televised and it should be uncensored. With cameras Bush doesn't know are there. I have no idea how they could pull that off without a hitch, but I would watch it, download it, save it, and keep it forever.
So when the zombie apocalypse comes, where does everyone think they'll go first? Assuming they're still alive, of course. I have decided that I'm going to Lowe's. That way, if I get famous in any way before the Z.A. (that's how I will be referring to it from here on out) and Lowe's hears that I'm going to them for all my barricading needs (8 x 5 3/4 inch thick plywood only $25! Buy one nail gun, get a year's supply of nails free!) they'll surely give me some sort of sponsorship deal. Maybe not for their commercials, but just to wear those sandwich boards or something. The front could say 'Are you prepared for the zombies?' and the back would just be the Lowe's logo. It's a golden idea, and it should get me some supplies and POSSIBLY cash.
On a mildly similar note, how long do I have to write absolutely bonkers blogs like this before someone famous accidentally swoops in and says 'Hey, this guy has more potential than 100% potential for precipitation!' If a guy says that, I'll wonder why he likes the letter 'P' so much. It can't be healthy.
So apparently, my iPod REALLY wants me to write about Snow Patrol because 3 of the last 4 songs have been by them. I have this thing on shuffle for just under 1100 songs, and I have gotten 3 songs by the same band OFF THE SAME ALBUM in the last 4 songs. I must admit, Apple, you have got the shuffle feature down to an emphatically simple science. Hats off to you!
I'm not gonna talk about Snow Patrol just because 80% of the world will say this exact sentence. You ready? 'Like, omigod Snow Patrol did that song about running after cars or whatever and the radio played it like 75 times an hour so I don't listen to them anymore just because cars are stupid and if you follow them or chase them or whatever then you're just immature and stuff.' Ok, so I channeled an idiot 17 year old girl as 80% of the world. Thankfully, they only make up about 20%, so it's a nice drop.
Dang it, I stopped writing for a second and I lost my train of thought. Isn't that grand? Oh well, I'm done with my food anyways, and I'm ready to leave Uncomfortabletown in Everbodylookattheyoungkid County. Jerks.
And thus concludes Blog 3 from the Coffee House Writings. My soundtrack for this evening has been as follows:
Youthless - Beck
The Funeral - Band of Horses
Light From a Dead Star - Lush
The Devil's Workday - Modest Mouse
Endless Shovel - Rogue Wave
Can I Touch You - My Bloody Valentine
Whatever's Left - Snow Patrol
The Crane Wife #2 - The Decemberists
Grazed Knees - Snow Patrol
Run - Snow Patrol
Lost! (Alternate Version) - Coldplay
I recommend all of them...........and my iPod especially recommends Snow Patrol
So there's a neat little magnet (oh, and when I say neat, I mean dumb) on the fridge behind the counter that says 'Virginia is for Lovers.' Alright, I'm confused. I have been under the impression for years that, in fact, Ohio is for lovers. Not Virginia. Not Kansas. Not Oregon. Not even Rhode Island. No, Ohio is for lovers. This magnet seriously blows my mind and TOTALLY ruins any and all perception I had of Ohio, lovers, and the fact that Ohio is a house for said lovers. So what happened? Did Ohio pass it's ability for being a loyal housing unit for lovers to Virginia suddenly for no reason? Was there a trade? Like we gave Virginia the exclusive rights to be for lovers and we get their state bird and the rights to a monument of our choosing? Personally, I am a little happy if we DID get rid of 'Ohio is for Lovers' but we should have traded to a better state. I would have traded it STRAIGHT UP to Pennsylvania for Hershey. I might have even thrown in Youngstown since it's right there.
Can you imagine how AWESOME state trading would be? Obama likes sports, I think he should implement sports-like rules into the government. If we have a salary cap we might as be the Yankees of the entire world. Technically, we already are since foreigners like to call us 'Yanks.' By the way, that's an absurd nickname. I don't want to be called something that could mean the present tense of pulling. How would the British like it if everyone started calling them 'Shoves?' I bet they would hate it, and rightfully so. It's about as stupid as George W. Bush watching Oliver Stone's movie about him. If that happens, I think it should be nationally televised and it should be uncensored. With cameras Bush doesn't know are there. I have no idea how they could pull that off without a hitch, but I would watch it, download it, save it, and keep it forever.
So when the zombie apocalypse comes, where does everyone think they'll go first? Assuming they're still alive, of course. I have decided that I'm going to Lowe's. That way, if I get famous in any way before the Z.A. (that's how I will be referring to it from here on out) and Lowe's hears that I'm going to them for all my barricading needs (8 x 5 3/4 inch thick plywood only $25! Buy one nail gun, get a year's supply of nails free!) they'll surely give me some sort of sponsorship deal. Maybe not for their commercials, but just to wear those sandwich boards or something. The front could say 'Are you prepared for the zombies?' and the back would just be the Lowe's logo. It's a golden idea, and it should get me some supplies and POSSIBLY cash.
On a mildly similar note, how long do I have to write absolutely bonkers blogs like this before someone famous accidentally swoops in and says 'Hey, this guy has more potential than 100% potential for precipitation!' If a guy says that, I'll wonder why he likes the letter 'P' so much. It can't be healthy.
So apparently, my iPod REALLY wants me to write about Snow Patrol because 3 of the last 4 songs have been by them. I have this thing on shuffle for just under 1100 songs, and I have gotten 3 songs by the same band OFF THE SAME ALBUM in the last 4 songs. I must admit, Apple, you have got the shuffle feature down to an emphatically simple science. Hats off to you!
I'm not gonna talk about Snow Patrol just because 80% of the world will say this exact sentence. You ready? 'Like, omigod Snow Patrol did that song about running after cars or whatever and the radio played it like 75 times an hour so I don't listen to them anymore just because cars are stupid and if you follow them or chase them or whatever then you're just immature and stuff.' Ok, so I channeled an idiot 17 year old girl as 80% of the world. Thankfully, they only make up about 20%, so it's a nice drop.
Dang it, I stopped writing for a second and I lost my train of thought. Isn't that grand? Oh well, I'm done with my food anyways, and I'm ready to leave Uncomfortabletown in Everbodylookattheyoungkid County. Jerks.
And thus concludes Blog 3 from the Coffee House Writings. My soundtrack for this evening has been as follows:
Youthless - Beck
The Funeral - Band of Horses
Light From a Dead Star - Lush
The Devil's Workday - Modest Mouse
Endless Shovel - Rogue Wave
Can I Touch You - My Bloody Valentine
Whatever's Left - Snow Patrol
The Crane Wife #2 - The Decemberists
Grazed Knees - Snow Patrol
Run - Snow Patrol
Lost! (Alternate Version) - Coldplay
I recommend all of them...........and my iPod especially recommends Snow Patrol
The Single Most Depressing Sentence I Have Ever Read On Wikipedia
I know I didn't know who ANY of these 3 bands were back in 2004, and I don't even know where Lollapalooza is located. What I do know is this: what I just read on the Sonic Youth page of Wikipedia is terrifyingly depressing. Here is the sentence
"The band (Sonic Youth) was also slated to perform in 2004's Lollapalooza tour along with acts such as The Pixies and The Flaming Lips, but the concert was canceled due to lackluster ticket sales."
Ummmmmmm, WHAT? Are all 3 of these bands THAT unpopular or THAT irrelevant that they had to CANCEL a show featuring them? Sure, they might not be in their prime at this stage of their careers..........but who gives a cat's nipple? I will bet you anything that HAD this concert gone down, it would have been memorable. Good or bad, it would have been memorable. Seriously, that statement just depresses me.
GAH! YOU CANNOT CANCEL THAT SHOW! YOU JUST DON'T!
Now go listen to Doolittle & Bad Moon Rising. Tell me THAT doesn't mess your junk up.
"The band (Sonic Youth) was also slated to perform in 2004's Lollapalooza tour along with acts such as The Pixies and The Flaming Lips, but the concert was canceled due to lackluster ticket sales."
Ummmmmmm, WHAT? Are all 3 of these bands THAT unpopular or THAT irrelevant that they had to CANCEL a show featuring them? Sure, they might not be in their prime at this stage of their careers..........but who gives a cat's nipple? I will bet you anything that HAD this concert gone down, it would have been memorable. Good or bad, it would have been memorable. Seriously, that statement just depresses me.
GAH! YOU CANNOT CANCEL THAT SHOW! YOU JUST DON'T!
Now go listen to Doolittle & Bad Moon Rising. Tell me THAT doesn't mess your junk up.
Sunday, February 15, 2009
Coffee House Writing #2
Everyone has earbuds now. Nobody wears ear enveloping headphones anymore. That's unfortunate. Although, I think the reason for earbuds is because they eliminate as much noise as closed ear headphones. I think another reason for earbuds is that they don't mess up your 'do. That is CRITICAL in today's world of being reliant on good hair and everything. Anyways, enough of that. Here is a list of things that I do or do not want to see this year in the MLB season.
1. I don't want anyone new to be named off in a steroid scandal. Ok, we got the best most well recognized player in the game with A-Rod. Stop. The only way it could get worse for baseball at this point is if Jesus Christ came back, played baseball, and Bud Selig immediately had him tested, and it came back positive for a banned substance. The world would implode and Bud Selig would become the face of the devil.
2. I want the Rays to be for real. I don't care if you watch baseball or not, but rooting for the Rays last year was kind of like watching the Bad News Bears, except one season of BNB is about 10 years of Rays-ball. It was perfect up to the final touch in that they didn't win the big one. Which is why they NEED to be real. So they can do it.
3. I want both Ohio teams to best both Chicago teams in their respective divisions and eliminate both from playoff contention. The White Sox have little to no shot in that STACKED division, but the Reds over the Cubs is like a 15 seed over a 2 seed in March Madness. It's unlikely, but if it happened, everyone is in shock. There's no way they would be the betting favorite.
4. I don't want a HR record chase. Sure, Barry's a fraud, but the record is awesome. Leave it alone for at least 40 years.
5. I DO want a formerly untouchable record to be broken. I don't care what record it is and I don't care who does it (Exceptions: BOS and NYY players) as long as it's done. I'd like to see the E.R.A. record broken, personally. It's inhumanly low as is. I want it beat.
6. I want Josh Hamilton to revive the Rangers. He was the feel good story of last year on a team that sucked golf balls through garden hoses. I want them to fight for it's division. They won't win, but I want them scaring the pants off of the A's and the Angels.
7. As an Indians fan, I want Cliff Lee to repeat everything he did last year, and when he plays in inter-league games, I want him to get hits. Basically, I want to be able to say 'C.C. who?'
8. I want there to be a game where at least 4 grand slams are hit. As with the record rule, I don't care who or when, but I want to get on ESPN.com and read something like 'A Grand Old Time in (wherever)'. They should just pay me for that line right now.
9. I don't want any absurdly retarded cross promotions between MLB and anyone. If they can find a damn good partner for commercial making, then more power to them. I just hate watching baseball players trying to act. There is ONE who is even tolerable at it that I've seen, and it's Derek Jeter, and he hardly even talks in his commercials anyways. Speaking of Derek Jeter.....
10. I want the Indians to be the best team in baseball so Grady Sizemore can OFFICIALLY faze out Derek Jeter as the face of MLB. He's a proven commodity when it comes to getting women to watch the game (Grady's Ladies). Let's have a sucky year for the Yankees (4th place finish please?) and a playoff run by the Indians. Boom. Grady, Grady, Grady.
11. I want a World Series who has not won the title a single time since before I was born in 1987. Pretty self explanatory.
12. I want every single player who was signed to a contract entitling him to more than $8 million a year to fail. Miserably. I want every big spender to collectively drop their heads into their hands and sigh, and I want to collect those sighs in a jar that I can open and listen to when I feel sad, just so I can say 'Well, at least I didn't blow $8 million a year for one person to play ball for me.'
13. I don't want another facial hair/hairdo to be blamed/praised for how bad/good someone does. NOTABLE EXCEPTION: Jason Giambi's mantastic mustache of brilliance and light. I feel like clippings from that thing could cure cancer, it's so beautiful.
14. I want a team to wear retro uniforms so bad that they are talked about for years. Teams I feel could pull it off: Oakland A's, Chicago Cubs, Baltimore Orioles, San Francisco Giants, Texas Rangers.
So that's primarily what I want to see out of MLB this season. I'm hoping at least one of these happens so I can reference this later and think about how awesome I am. It doesn't take much.
*Evil Tyler is about to take over this post. Quit reading if you aren't intrigued or don't want to see Evil Tyler*
So right now I've got a song by Sonic Youth playing on the iPod, and I'm really curious to sometime try writing and ONLY listening to Sonic Youth. No skips of songs, just straight Sonic Youth and see what madness I write, because right now even the sounds are grating and it makes me want to write about absolutely insane things that I can't even comprehend off the top of my head. I just envision twisted corpses in a playground setting. Evil teddy bears. Mounds of jelly. Just absolutely asinine things. I'm not sure if Stephen King or Clive Barker write in silence, but I'm sure Sonic Youth helps. A LOT. Anyways, since I'm listening to a happy song I'm gonna quit. You can expect that inner evil writing someday. It IS coming. I actually am excited for it. It's too tempting not to do it. I don't even want to stop writing when I do it. I just want to let whatever comes to the pen be put on paper. Oh my gosh. Sonic Youth is my outer vessel. This must be mildly what Heath Ledger felt like when he played the Joker, or at least what he felt like when he trapped himself in a hotel room, secluding himself from society.
Boy, this sure descended quickly from happy baseball talk to evil Tyler talk. I feel like it's my alternate pen. Like a Thad Beaumont/George Stark type. Actually, no it's not. That's too weird to think about. I'm in a Daydream Nation.
*Evil Tyler is gone for now.*
Alright, good Tyler is back, I promise. Good happy song is on and I can feel the sweetness filling me again. It scares me that something so small can just completely change my mindset for the length of a song, and don't worry, I fully realize that's what happened. I haven't always been this little evil guy, but I would be lying if I wasn't curious to let him out of his cage for a few pages. I think I'll wait at least a week.
And thus concludes Blog 2 from the Coffee House Writings. My soundtrack for this evening has been as follows:
NYC - Interpol
Heart and Lungs - Beach House
Saltwater - Beach House
Publish My Love - Rogue Wave
The Body Says No - The New Pornographers
No One's Gonna Love You - Band of Horses
The Great Salt Lake - Band of Horses
Your Eyes Open - Keane
Sparks - Coldplay
You - Rogue Wave
The World at Large - Modest Mouse
Squalor Victoria - The National
I'm Insane - Sonic Youth
The Walk - Imogen Heap
Tunic (Song for Karen) - Sonic Youth
Breeze - Lush
I recommend them all.............but only the bold should try the Sonic Youth.
1. I don't want anyone new to be named off in a steroid scandal. Ok, we got the best most well recognized player in the game with A-Rod. Stop. The only way it could get worse for baseball at this point is if Jesus Christ came back, played baseball, and Bud Selig immediately had him tested, and it came back positive for a banned substance. The world would implode and Bud Selig would become the face of the devil.
2. I want the Rays to be for real. I don't care if you watch baseball or not, but rooting for the Rays last year was kind of like watching the Bad News Bears, except one season of BNB is about 10 years of Rays-ball. It was perfect up to the final touch in that they didn't win the big one. Which is why they NEED to be real. So they can do it.
3. I want both Ohio teams to best both Chicago teams in their respective divisions and eliminate both from playoff contention. The White Sox have little to no shot in that STACKED division, but the Reds over the Cubs is like a 15 seed over a 2 seed in March Madness. It's unlikely, but if it happened, everyone is in shock. There's no way they would be the betting favorite.
4. I don't want a HR record chase. Sure, Barry's a fraud, but the record is awesome. Leave it alone for at least 40 years.
5. I DO want a formerly untouchable record to be broken. I don't care what record it is and I don't care who does it (Exceptions: BOS and NYY players) as long as it's done. I'd like to see the E.R.A. record broken, personally. It's inhumanly low as is. I want it beat.
6. I want Josh Hamilton to revive the Rangers. He was the feel good story of last year on a team that sucked golf balls through garden hoses. I want them to fight for it's division. They won't win, but I want them scaring the pants off of the A's and the Angels.
7. As an Indians fan, I want Cliff Lee to repeat everything he did last year, and when he plays in inter-league games, I want him to get hits. Basically, I want to be able to say 'C.C. who?'
8. I want there to be a game where at least 4 grand slams are hit. As with the record rule, I don't care who or when, but I want to get on ESPN.com and read something like 'A Grand Old Time in (wherever)'. They should just pay me for that line right now.
9. I don't want any absurdly retarded cross promotions between MLB and anyone. If they can find a damn good partner for commercial making, then more power to them. I just hate watching baseball players trying to act. There is ONE who is even tolerable at it that I've seen, and it's Derek Jeter, and he hardly even talks in his commercials anyways. Speaking of Derek Jeter.....
10. I want the Indians to be the best team in baseball so Grady Sizemore can OFFICIALLY faze out Derek Jeter as the face of MLB. He's a proven commodity when it comes to getting women to watch the game (Grady's Ladies). Let's have a sucky year for the Yankees (4th place finish please?) and a playoff run by the Indians. Boom. Grady, Grady, Grady.
11. I want a World Series who has not won the title a single time since before I was born in 1987. Pretty self explanatory.
12. I want every single player who was signed to a contract entitling him to more than $8 million a year to fail. Miserably. I want every big spender to collectively drop their heads into their hands and sigh, and I want to collect those sighs in a jar that I can open and listen to when I feel sad, just so I can say 'Well, at least I didn't blow $8 million a year for one person to play ball for me.'
13. I don't want another facial hair/hairdo to be blamed/praised for how bad/good someone does. NOTABLE EXCEPTION: Jason Giambi's mantastic mustache of brilliance and light. I feel like clippings from that thing could cure cancer, it's so beautiful.
14. I want a team to wear retro uniforms so bad that they are talked about for years. Teams I feel could pull it off: Oakland A's, Chicago Cubs, Baltimore Orioles, San Francisco Giants, Texas Rangers.
So that's primarily what I want to see out of MLB this season. I'm hoping at least one of these happens so I can reference this later and think about how awesome I am. It doesn't take much.
*Evil Tyler is about to take over this post. Quit reading if you aren't intrigued or don't want to see Evil Tyler*
So right now I've got a song by Sonic Youth playing on the iPod, and I'm really curious to sometime try writing and ONLY listening to Sonic Youth. No skips of songs, just straight Sonic Youth and see what madness I write, because right now even the sounds are grating and it makes me want to write about absolutely insane things that I can't even comprehend off the top of my head. I just envision twisted corpses in a playground setting. Evil teddy bears. Mounds of jelly. Just absolutely asinine things. I'm not sure if Stephen King or Clive Barker write in silence, but I'm sure Sonic Youth helps. A LOT. Anyways, since I'm listening to a happy song I'm gonna quit. You can expect that inner evil writing someday. It IS coming. I actually am excited for it. It's too tempting not to do it. I don't even want to stop writing when I do it. I just want to let whatever comes to the pen be put on paper. Oh my gosh. Sonic Youth is my outer vessel. This must be mildly what Heath Ledger felt like when he played the Joker, or at least what he felt like when he trapped himself in a hotel room, secluding himself from society.
Boy, this sure descended quickly from happy baseball talk to evil Tyler talk. I feel like it's my alternate pen. Like a Thad Beaumont/George Stark type. Actually, no it's not. That's too weird to think about. I'm in a Daydream Nation.
*Evil Tyler is gone for now.*
Alright, good Tyler is back, I promise. Good happy song is on and I can feel the sweetness filling me again. It scares me that something so small can just completely change my mindset for the length of a song, and don't worry, I fully realize that's what happened. I haven't always been this little evil guy, but I would be lying if I wasn't curious to let him out of his cage for a few pages. I think I'll wait at least a week.
And thus concludes Blog 2 from the Coffee House Writings. My soundtrack for this evening has been as follows:
NYC - Interpol
Heart and Lungs - Beach House
Saltwater - Beach House
Publish My Love - Rogue Wave
The Body Says No - The New Pornographers
No One's Gonna Love You - Band of Horses
The Great Salt Lake - Band of Horses
Your Eyes Open - Keane
Sparks - Coldplay
You - Rogue Wave
The World at Large - Modest Mouse
Squalor Victoria - The National
I'm Insane - Sonic Youth
The Walk - Imogen Heap
Tunic (Song for Karen) - Sonic Youth
Breeze - Lush
I recommend them all.............but only the bold should try the Sonic Youth.
Saturday, February 14, 2009
Coffee House Writing #1
I went to Starbucks earlier because I took a 2 hour nap today and realized I was not going to waste my night in my apartment. I took along the following items:
Notebook
Pen
iPod
Skull Candy Headphones
This seemed like it was all I really needed to make a totally sweet writing entry. It worked. I'm only going to write these blog entries at coffee places from here on out and I'm only going to take those 4 items. I might even leave my phone at my apartment next time, just because I don't think I should be disturbed. Anyways, on to the epic writing that you are about to partake in reading. If there are any spelling errors or omissions please let me know, I'm trying to make this as readable as I can......outside of it's absurd length, of course. Read in shifts. My favorite part about this whole thing is you can tell when I stopped caring about building a true story about feelings and the like and just started writing about random crap.
*Note: This is written (with about 2 exceptions) EXACTLY how I wrote down in my notebook, so you are basically reading RAW Tyler writing.*
7:40 - I have arrived at Starbucks and what is the first thing I notice? Including the workers, I am one of 5 people here. Ok, that's a lie. The first thing I noticed actually happened before I walked in the door. There is a fairly cute girl sitting by herself in the front corner of the store by herself, doing homework. It was an immediate 'Well if this isn't just the motivation I need' moment, that I will soon forget. Probably. Because instead of almost instantly striking up conversation like a typical single person to another potentially single person on Valentine's Day, I have instead elected to put on my headphones and seclude myself in my always reliable world of music. Maybe I'm waiting for the perfect song to come on and officially totally jack me up to be like 'LET'S FRICKIN' DO THIS!' and it's not like I haven't already thrown down the Pixies or Oasis on the iPod as a fantastic motivation tool. Actually, truth be told, I'm just trying to think of the perfect icebreaker. Seeing as it's Valentine's Day, the perfect ice breaker IN THEORY would be the absolutely gay and overdone 'So what's a pretty/cute/hot/attractive girl like you doing by yourself on this glorious love holiday?' Well that's retarded.
My logic is that you have GOT to say something that will make a splash. Lasting first impressions are important. Our eyes have met. So the chance is there. I'm writing really fast right now in tempo with the song that I'm listening to that's getting me excited and really jacked up. Not like football jacked up. Like I AM going to talk to this girl jacked up. I can barely read what I'm writing. My letters are all intertwining. I'm making spelling errors. I'm omitting letters. My pen is running into one long autograph like line of writing. Second Pixies song. Slow your roll NOT. Oh my golly, oh my golly. Makes me want to kick something! 8 minutes. How long does it take to think of the perfect ice breaker for someone who is good at this when he's not really freaked out? I'm gonna guess about 45 seconds, but it's never perfect. It's just an iced breaker.
*Between this line and the next, I get up, refill my water, and go to talk to the girl. Take all the time you need to applaud and cheer. Go ahead, I'll wait.*
*Done? Alright, we can continue.*
8:21 - Her name is Emily. It could have gone better because I'm still sitting by myself. I did talk to her, though. She's studying for a history midterm. She doesn't like history which boggles my mind. History is awesome. But then she said she's a biology major and it made a little more sense. Biology is gross times infinity, but to each their own. She seems nice enough from I gathered. Listening to The Doors to slow myself down. Still on a mild adrenaline rush. You know it doesn't seem like that big of a deal to most people but this to me is HUGE because I'm not a go up and introduce myself type. I meet through friends or when I'm in a small group where I basically to mingle. So to talk to a total stranger is excellent for me. So overall, it wasn't a great success, but it could have gone much worse. We had a nice chat for a few minutes and that's that. I'm sure she'll have forgotten by tomorrow, and I probably won't, but for different reasons. Emily represents me GETTING OVER THE HUMP of not being able to go up and introduce myself to strangers. Will I still have moments of not doing anything, of course. But that first time you do it is a big time changer. Good grief, look at me. I'm a 21 year old walking vagina.
Ok, so now the night wasn't a loss for TWO reasons. The first I've already gone way over. The second requires a mild back story. So far tonight I've only had water. Well, the barista just came up and offered me a mess up. I'm pretty sure it's an oreo cookie frapp of some kind. It's cookies of some kind and it's a frapp and it's good. That's all that matters. So now I"m gonna juiced up on caffeine and adrenaline. At this rate my heart will explode by 10 p.m. (*Update: It didn't*) and this story will never make it's intended destination, as a blog on Facebook. You know, I should consider an actual blogging site. Not xanga, though. that's too high school-y. Like, get a blog and see if it can have a hit counter, make it semi-professional looking. I'll link it off of Facebook. Man, I'm a freaking genius, and it's not like a bejesus load of people didn't think of this before or anything.
I should try invading UC's cafeteria sometime. Just sit down at a random group of people's table and use the glorious Scrubs line. I AM YOUR NEW FRIEND, SO SUCK IT. Chances are that would work for no other reason than SURELY someone at that table will have seen Scrubs. I mean, really, if you haven't then you're just an idiot.
So how about it would be absolutely awesome to have Jerry Garcia's beard? I WANT THAT BEARD! I wonder how long it took him to grow it. I think the only thing better would be Jerry Garcia in a pouch, but that guy from Half Baked already used it, so I have to settle for the beard.
I'm also curious as to how many girls got to see a chick flick tonight courtesy of a tolerant boyfriend and how many guys got to see Friday the 13th courtesy of a totally awesome girlfriend. If you have a girlfriend who WANTED to see Friday the 13th and you don't owe her with a chick flick next weekend or a romantic dinner or whatever, then you. You can notch one up in the 'W' column.
So the more I listen to the Butthole Surfers, I feel like they could be considered 'Sonic Youth Lite'. A lot of their songs are just loud, noisy, incoherent, and somehow absolutely listenable. Yet they just don't have the same weird appeal as Sonic Youth. Maybe it's the name. Maybe they weren't as good soon enough. Whatever the case, if you want the 2 noisiest bands that are GOOD, you can definitely qualify these 2. I would put the Pixies but they aren't as edgy. They're more punk based than LOUD based. Speaking of loud, my Skull Candy headphones FREAKING RULE. They have more bass than my car with a better sound. Worth EVERY SINGLE CENT I paid for them. Thank you Circuit City for closing. Oh yeah, they look mind-numbingly badass, too. I mean, when they're freaking modeled after Metallica and Death Magnetic, how can they not look super rock awesome. I just listened to a basstastic song and felt my feet pulsing. Now that's how great these headphones are.
So I just viewed a Valentine's Day gift exchanging between a couple and it was really cute. It seemed like the guy mildly took the easy way out and just got her a diary, but she reacted favorably enough that she either really likes that stuff or she's a great faker. But, seriously. A diary? Even if I have a girlfriend who tells me POINT BLANK 'Tyler, I want a cute diary as a Valentine's Day present', I would still debate about getting it. I feel like diary is Number 3 in the Top 5 overbought Valentine's Day items. Actually, maybe 4th. Because it's
1. Chocolate
2. Flowers
3. Cards
4. Diaries
5. Stuffed Animals
Somehow they're still the best received, though, so let's just keep it up guys. They're still digging our absolutely weak ass gifts.
So I'm listening to Audioslave right now and it reminded me that I'm compiling another list I like to entitle 'My Top 25 Favorite Song Conclusions'. It's a fairly straightforward concept that just lists my favorite song conclusions. I can tell you this much since I just mentioned Audioslave. Chris Cornell is on the list at least twice, with 2 different bands. If you don't know who the other band is, start some back cataloging in the GRUNGE section of your iTunes and prepare to have your face melted by my second favorite rock singer's voice of all time behind only the immortal Robert Plant, who is essentially Chris Cornell in a 70's band. So really, I should say Chris Cornell is Robert Plant thrown in a wood chipper, but still awesome. No, not that, either. I can't really compare these 2 nicely like I want to and not have someone COMPLETELY outraged at actually having the balls to compare ANYONE to Robert Plant. Well, I do and I did.
And thus concludes Blog 1 from the Coffee House Writings. My soundtrack for this evening has been as follows:
No. 13 Baby - The Pixies
Champagne Supernova - Oasis
New Way Home - Foo Fighters
Oh My Golly! - The Pixies
La Villa Strangiato - Rush
L.A. Woman - The Doors
The Camera Eye - Rush
Space Cowboy - The Steve Miller Band
Funk #49 - The James Gang
Alabama Getaway - The Grateful Dead
Go Your Own Way - Fleetwood Mac
L.A. - The Butthole Surfers
Cure for the Itch - Linkin Park
New World Man - Rush
Show Me How to Live - Audioslave
Pretty Noose - Soundgarden
The Trees - Rush
I recommend all of them.
Notebook
Pen
iPod
Skull Candy Headphones
This seemed like it was all I really needed to make a totally sweet writing entry. It worked. I'm only going to write these blog entries at coffee places from here on out and I'm only going to take those 4 items. I might even leave my phone at my apartment next time, just because I don't think I should be disturbed. Anyways, on to the epic writing that you are about to partake in reading. If there are any spelling errors or omissions please let me know, I'm trying to make this as readable as I can......outside of it's absurd length, of course. Read in shifts. My favorite part about this whole thing is you can tell when I stopped caring about building a true story about feelings and the like and just started writing about random crap.
*Note: This is written (with about 2 exceptions) EXACTLY how I wrote down in my notebook, so you are basically reading RAW Tyler writing.*
7:40 - I have arrived at Starbucks and what is the first thing I notice? Including the workers, I am one of 5 people here. Ok, that's a lie. The first thing I noticed actually happened before I walked in the door. There is a fairly cute girl sitting by herself in the front corner of the store by herself, doing homework. It was an immediate 'Well if this isn't just the motivation I need' moment, that I will soon forget. Probably. Because instead of almost instantly striking up conversation like a typical single person to another potentially single person on Valentine's Day, I have instead elected to put on my headphones and seclude myself in my always reliable world of music. Maybe I'm waiting for the perfect song to come on and officially totally jack me up to be like 'LET'S FRICKIN' DO THIS!' and it's not like I haven't already thrown down the Pixies or Oasis on the iPod as a fantastic motivation tool. Actually, truth be told, I'm just trying to think of the perfect icebreaker. Seeing as it's Valentine's Day, the perfect ice breaker IN THEORY would be the absolutely gay and overdone 'So what's a pretty/cute/hot/attractive girl like you doing by yourself on this glorious love holiday?' Well that's retarded.
My logic is that you have GOT to say something that will make a splash. Lasting first impressions are important. Our eyes have met. So the chance is there. I'm writing really fast right now in tempo with the song that I'm listening to that's getting me excited and really jacked up. Not like football jacked up. Like I AM going to talk to this girl jacked up. I can barely read what I'm writing. My letters are all intertwining. I'm making spelling errors. I'm omitting letters. My pen is running into one long autograph like line of writing. Second Pixies song. Slow your roll NOT. Oh my golly, oh my golly. Makes me want to kick something! 8 minutes. How long does it take to think of the perfect ice breaker for someone who is good at this when he's not really freaked out? I'm gonna guess about 45 seconds, but it's never perfect. It's just an iced breaker.
*Between this line and the next, I get up, refill my water, and go to talk to the girl. Take all the time you need to applaud and cheer. Go ahead, I'll wait.*
*Done? Alright, we can continue.*
8:21 - Her name is Emily. It could have gone better because I'm still sitting by myself. I did talk to her, though. She's studying for a history midterm. She doesn't like history which boggles my mind. History is awesome. But then she said she's a biology major and it made a little more sense. Biology is gross times infinity, but to each their own. She seems nice enough from I gathered. Listening to The Doors to slow myself down. Still on a mild adrenaline rush. You know it doesn't seem like that big of a deal to most people but this to me is HUGE because I'm not a go up and introduce myself type. I meet through friends or when I'm in a small group where I basically to mingle. So to talk to a total stranger is excellent for me. So overall, it wasn't a great success, but it could have gone much worse. We had a nice chat for a few minutes and that's that. I'm sure she'll have forgotten by tomorrow, and I probably won't, but for different reasons. Emily represents me GETTING OVER THE HUMP of not being able to go up and introduce myself to strangers. Will I still have moments of not doing anything, of course. But that first time you do it is a big time changer. Good grief, look at me. I'm a 21 year old walking vagina.
Ok, so now the night wasn't a loss for TWO reasons. The first I've already gone way over. The second requires a mild back story. So far tonight I've only had water. Well, the barista just came up and offered me a mess up. I'm pretty sure it's an oreo cookie frapp of some kind. It's cookies of some kind and it's a frapp and it's good. That's all that matters. So now I"m gonna juiced up on caffeine and adrenaline. At this rate my heart will explode by 10 p.m. (*Update: It didn't*) and this story will never make it's intended destination, as a blog on Facebook. You know, I should consider an actual blogging site. Not xanga, though. that's too high school-y. Like, get a blog and see if it can have a hit counter, make it semi-professional looking. I'll link it off of Facebook. Man, I'm a freaking genius, and it's not like a bejesus load of people didn't think of this before or anything.
I should try invading UC's cafeteria sometime. Just sit down at a random group of people's table and use the glorious Scrubs line. I AM YOUR NEW FRIEND, SO SUCK IT. Chances are that would work for no other reason than SURELY someone at that table will have seen Scrubs. I mean, really, if you haven't then you're just an idiot.
So how about it would be absolutely awesome to have Jerry Garcia's beard? I WANT THAT BEARD! I wonder how long it took him to grow it. I think the only thing better would be Jerry Garcia in a pouch, but that guy from Half Baked already used it, so I have to settle for the beard.
I'm also curious as to how many girls got to see a chick flick tonight courtesy of a tolerant boyfriend and how many guys got to see Friday the 13th courtesy of a totally awesome girlfriend. If you have a girlfriend who WANTED to see Friday the 13th and you don't owe her with a chick flick next weekend or a romantic dinner or whatever, then you. You can notch one up in the 'W' column.
So the more I listen to the Butthole Surfers, I feel like they could be considered 'Sonic Youth Lite'. A lot of their songs are just loud, noisy, incoherent, and somehow absolutely listenable. Yet they just don't have the same weird appeal as Sonic Youth. Maybe it's the name. Maybe they weren't as good soon enough. Whatever the case, if you want the 2 noisiest bands that are GOOD, you can definitely qualify these 2. I would put the Pixies but they aren't as edgy. They're more punk based than LOUD based. Speaking of loud, my Skull Candy headphones FREAKING RULE. They have more bass than my car with a better sound. Worth EVERY SINGLE CENT I paid for them. Thank you Circuit City for closing. Oh yeah, they look mind-numbingly badass, too. I mean, when they're freaking modeled after Metallica and Death Magnetic, how can they not look super rock awesome. I just listened to a basstastic song and felt my feet pulsing. Now that's how great these headphones are.
So I just viewed a Valentine's Day gift exchanging between a couple and it was really cute. It seemed like the guy mildly took the easy way out and just got her a diary, but she reacted favorably enough that she either really likes that stuff or she's a great faker. But, seriously. A diary? Even if I have a girlfriend who tells me POINT BLANK 'Tyler, I want a cute diary as a Valentine's Day present', I would still debate about getting it. I feel like diary is Number 3 in the Top 5 overbought Valentine's Day items. Actually, maybe 4th. Because it's
1. Chocolate
2. Flowers
3. Cards
4. Diaries
5. Stuffed Animals
Somehow they're still the best received, though, so let's just keep it up guys. They're still digging our absolutely weak ass gifts.
So I'm listening to Audioslave right now and it reminded me that I'm compiling another list I like to entitle 'My Top 25 Favorite Song Conclusions'. It's a fairly straightforward concept that just lists my favorite song conclusions. I can tell you this much since I just mentioned Audioslave. Chris Cornell is on the list at least twice, with 2 different bands. If you don't know who the other band is, start some back cataloging in the GRUNGE section of your iTunes and prepare to have your face melted by my second favorite rock singer's voice of all time behind only the immortal Robert Plant, who is essentially Chris Cornell in a 70's band. So really, I should say Chris Cornell is Robert Plant thrown in a wood chipper, but still awesome. No, not that, either. I can't really compare these 2 nicely like I want to and not have someone COMPLETELY outraged at actually having the balls to compare ANYONE to Robert Plant. Well, I do and I did.
And thus concludes Blog 1 from the Coffee House Writings. My soundtrack for this evening has been as follows:
No. 13 Baby - The Pixies
Champagne Supernova - Oasis
New Way Home - Foo Fighters
Oh My Golly! - The Pixies
La Villa Strangiato - Rush
L.A. Woman - The Doors
The Camera Eye - Rush
Space Cowboy - The Steve Miller Band
Funk #49 - The James Gang
Alabama Getaway - The Grateful Dead
Go Your Own Way - Fleetwood Mac
L.A. - The Butthole Surfers
Cure for the Itch - Linkin Park
New World Man - Rush
Show Me How to Live - Audioslave
Pretty Noose - Soundgarden
The Trees - Rush
I recommend all of them.
OUT!
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
