Coffee House Writing #5

I'm slowly recognizing the concept of calling this place home. Even if it's temporary. It's not because it's easier to say then 'living arrangements' or 'that place I reside in' but because, despite the fact that I know about a .000001 percentile of the population of this city, the things that make it feel like home are setting in. The familiarity is setting in. I can get a lot of places just looking at street names. I can be completely lost but I see one street sign I recognize and I'll be fine in no time. It's actually kind of exciting when that happens. Sure, in the moment I panic a little bit but I just look for street signs. A few times I've been in scarier sections of town, but they don't last very long. I'm sure one of those experiences is coming where it feels like an eternity, but until then, I'm loving it.

Speaking of that, Hyde Park rocks. My favorite Starbucks is there, they have a Chipotle, a Panera, a Kroger's, Mio's Pizzeria, and a lot more. However, the glaring weak spot for me is the McDonald's (now that segue makes sense). My problem with it is simple. A few other McDonald's I have been to in my life also do this and it's disgusting. I always order 2 doublecheeseb.....McDouble's (GAY). So naturally, you would think being BURGERS, they should be BEEF patties. Well, in this case, you would be wrong. No, this McDonald's puts SAUSAGE patties on instead of normal beef. Um, I'm sorry. That is NOT a cheeseburger. That's a sausage mcmuffin on a hamburger bun instead of a biscuit. It is very noticeable and it just does not taste well combined with ketchup like beef does. I don't care if people find this nitpicky. If you do, then sorry, you're an idiot, because it's gross. The Sugarcreek McDonald's used to do this, but don't anymore, and that's why they're awesome. The Millersburg McDonald's used to do this, but don't anymore, and that's why they too are awesome. Hyde Park McDonald's. Get your shiz together.

I just looked up and saw one of the brightest red cars I have ever seen. It was like staring at a really bright red object.

So one of my least favorite things are zits on the back of my neck. I only say that because it's something that is currently giving me an annoying time and I'm sure when they're (yes, there's more than one) gone I'll be way less mad. Come on, though. How do you suddenly get THREE zits, all 3 on the back of your neck? Nowhere else. Just the neck. It makes zero sense. Actually, I'm sure there's a science to it that makes perfect sense, but I don't know it and researching the placement of zits just screams 'douchebag job'. So I'll just stick with my channeled zits anger and not feel like a complete loser.

I've never liked trucks. There, I said it. Come and fight me, hicks! Defend your babies! Seriously, though, I've just never been a fan of trucks and I'm not sure why. It's not because they're bulky or guzzle gas. I just don't enjoy them. To me trucks are like that really douchy muscular guy in shop class who you would love to hit with a 2 x 4 but realize you could use his strength in any situation, so you stay on his good side and put up with him being a total putz.

Want another fun shop class analogy? You got it! Civic's are like that one kid that everyone picked on and he only did one project all semester, but he did it so well he can probably use his shelf or whatever for at least 20 years.

Muscle cars are like the guy who made a WICKED AWESOME poker table but he won't let anyone touch it because it's too perfect.

The Tazo tea here at Starbucks has a little sign that says 'A home without tea is merely a house.' Alright, add that reason to why I can call Cincinnati home. My apartment has tea on the premesis. Man, that is such a terrible slogan. That actually makes me like tea less. A house is a home through family and love. You may think I'm being too serious and I may think you're a banana. We're both wrong, so satch.

I just thought of something I want to do and I am SUPER excited about it. The next time I'm doing one of these writings, I want to sit in a very open area but a spot where if there is a girl I find attractive, I can very sneakily look at her out of the corner of my eye. Then, if she looks at me, I will raise my eyebrows twice in that 'Hey baby' type of motion that EVERYONE knows and then immediately jot down her reaction. I'm hoping it's either laughter or that quick look back where you don't want the other person to know you were looking but you are SO BUSTED and I don't want these reactions so much because they're the best reactions. No, I want them because they're conversation starters. I can even tell you the openers!

If it's a laugh, I walk over and say 'If you thought that was funny, wait 'til you see my Bill Clinton impression' then in my exact normal voice, I say 'Hi, I'm Bill Clinton'. Is that not GOLD? WAIT! No. I'm pulling out the Shaun of the Dead line. How's that for a slice of fried gold? YEAH! YES! I win! My parents would be so proud! I feel like I should get some sort of cash prize for that. I'm so pumped about busting out that line I could care less what the second pick up line was. I know it wasn't NEARLY as good and to say it now completely eliminates the awesomeness high I'm on after the first one AS WELL AS busting out the Shaun of the Dead quote. If you could see me as I write this, you could just tell how happy I am that I did that. I'm writing faster and I have a grin on my face. Well, I did. It's faded because I have ice in my mouth. It was there, though! My big goofy 'I just broke off a movie quote in a perfect situation' smile. My goodness

I'm calling it game, set, match after that. I'm not gonna do any better today, and I am absolutely fine with that. Ah. I'm in a great mood now! Enjoy your day!

And thus concludes Blog 5 from the Coffee House Writings. My soundtrack for this evening has been as follows:

God Put a Smile Upon Your Face - Coldplay
Lose My Breath - My Bloody Valentine
For Nancy ('Cos It Already Is) - Pete Yorn
Upside Down - Jack Johnson
Take - Lush
I'm Amazed - My Morning Jacket
Space Travel is Boring - Sun Kil Moon
Ode to LRC - Band of Horses
Brainy - The National
Touch Me I'm Going to Scream Part 2 - My Morning Jacket
Your Protector - Fleet Foxes
It's Beginning to Get to Me - Snow Patrol